Myths about domestic violence influence how victims, family members, and the general public think, feel, and act about domestic violence. In that regard, these myths can be very destructive in the effort to treat and prevent abuse. They can, in fact, support, and even, help worsen the ongoing problem of domestic violence. Having the true facts and dispelling these myths is very important in the struggle to prevent assault and abuse by intimate partners.

Here are some commonly held myths and the facts to dispel them:

Myth: Few women are actually ever beaten up. Most family violence victims are never seriously injured.
Fact: When violence in a relationship between intimate partners starts, it will continue and will increase in frequency and severity, usually leading to serious physical injuries requiring medical attention or even death. A study in one police department in the Midwest indicated that in 85% of the cases of domestic homicide in that city in a given time period, the police had been called at least once before. According to a survey of women in Texas, 19% of the women who were abused during the previous year and 25% of the women who had been abused during their lifetime have been battered at least once a week.

Myth: What happens in someone else's family life is none of my business.
Fact: Assault is a crime in all 50 states. Battering is not simply a family problem but is a far-reaching social problem affecting as many as 50% of all U.S. women. Violence against wives will occur at least once in 2/3 of all marriages and at least 25% of wives in the U.S. are severely beaten during their marriage. As a social issue, it is everybody's business. It's also an economic issue. Battering is very costly to our society in terms of its impact on our health care system, our employers, and our law enforcement and legal systems.

Myth: Only low income or working class familes experience family violence.
Fact: Battering affects all racial, social, ethnic, economic, and religious groups and affects each group with equal frequency. The police departments in Norwalk, Connecticut, a city with a wide socioeconomic range receives the same number of domestic assault calls as the police department in Harlem, New York, a city of comparable size. Battered women with few resources are more visible because they seek help from public agencies. However, middle and upper-class women also seek refuge and assistance, but because of their resources it is more often in hotels and from private agencies.

Myth: All battered women are a "certain kind" of woman.
Fact: People would like to be able to identify the characteristics of a battered woman because it makes them feel less responsible. Women would like to be able to identify the characteristics of a battered woman because it makes them feel safer. In essence, it is a way of saying, "If I am not like these women, I will not be battered." In reality, a battered woman can be any woman. Battered women, as a group, are extremely diverse in their characteristics. The come from a wide range of backgrounds, families, cultures, careers, etc. The only thing they have in common is that they find themselves with an abusive man.

Myth: Battered women ask for it, provoke it, want it, and sometimes even deserve it. Fact: Such a thought would make the victim rather than the abuser to blame for the abuse. Nothing could be further from the truth. No one deserves or wants to be abused nor can they "make" someone abuse them. This myth suggests that it is up to the battered woman to change her behavior in order to stop the abuse. It encourages women to stay in a violent relationship in an effort to figure out what they do to cause the abuse and attempt to just work harder to change themselves, all while the violence continues.

Myth: It's not just women, men are battered, too
Fact: Yes, but according to the FBI, in over 95% of all domestic abuse violence, the man is the batterer. The injuries that battered \women receive are at least as serious as 90% of all violent felony crimes, yet under state laws, domestic violence is almost always a misdemeanor.

Myth: Alcohol and drug abuse are the real cause of domestic violence.
Fact:

Myth: It can't be that bad or she wouldn't stay.
Fact:

Myth: Battered women hate men.
Fact: Battered women do not hate men. They hate being battered.